T. HERBERT CANNABIS (aka Homegrown) for the HOUSE

As a steamed member of the Marijuana party
I too am running at the mouth for congress
Sexual of course
I have served on the joint committee
For all these wobbly years
And am currently seeking support
I have a reputation for attending faithfully to my own extramarital affairs
Snapshots of my miss handlings are available for a small contribution
These are my six illegitimate daughters
I can assure you they know how to work the stump
I can speak for the lowest common man
No creep left behind
I have a record of convictions
I know from personal experience how a Patriot Acts when plastered
And I have a plan to match my opponent’s blueprint for disaster
To provide comprehensive health care Lettuce
encourage our youth to grow their own
My campaign slogan is: “A chick and some pot in every trailer!”
I pledge allegiance to the fag
And will completely free speech before the end of my fucking first term
But nubile females will have to register their breasts with the bureau of legal intoxicants
As your pro-life candidate I promise to demonstrate in front of recruitment offices
carrying a sign that says: Stop the partial birth abortions of our fetuses in Iraq!
I’ll also work untiringly to stem selling political power to the highest bidder
I feel that the meetings of the sexually active should be closely monitored…er…
Just to determine their viability as an alternative energy source of course
I think the budget for Defense has become offensive
I promise to open the first extermination…er…recycling camp for holiday music in my district
Free condoms and rolling papers will be available to the wild oats farmers
College students will be allowed only three abstinences before they are flunked
& in order to subvert what I feel is a toxic atmosphere of pomposity and hypocrisy in govt.
I will establish an open zipper policy in my office